YTSK II: Chapter VIII

In Universe Date: 16 April 2021

Yan walks out of the prison, towards the parliament. She recalls watching the broadcast of the session just before she killed Khey Pard, and seeing Hetman amongst the representatives. "This will be an excellent disguise, i'll mingle right in with the other politicians and get close to Tenax."

Hetman enters the parliament, which is currently talking about a proposal to recognize Russian sovereignity over Crimea, as a sign of gratitude for Russia's military assistance in the war against Mapperdonia. He waits for president Tenax to take a bathroom break. 20 minutes of boring conversations pass by before Tenax finally decides to go to the bathroom.

Tenax enters the bathroom. He locks the door, pulls down his pants, and sits on the toilet. He concentrates power in his anus in order to push out his turd. He moans: "hnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg hnnnnnnggggggggg". He is applying so much force that he also unintentionally begins to pee. Eventually, the turd leaves his anus and falls to the bottom of the toilet, creating a splash that causes the toilet water to graze his bottocks. "Ah, Poseidon's kiss". Tenax then grabs toilet paper and dries the splash before scratching his anus, checking to see that there is poop on the toilet paper. Tenax repeats this several times before pulling his pants back up and flushing the toilet.

As soon as Tenax leaves the toilet, Hetman approaches him and reveals herself to actually be Yan, and charges at him with a knife. Tenax dodges the attack and runs upstairs to escape her. Tenax arrives on the roof and closes the hatch to the rooftop shut. It's made of strong concrete. Since she can only use teleportation once during this quickly developing encounter and wants to save it for later in the battle if needed, Yan opts to try and break through the concrete rather than teleport through it.

Tenax pulls out his phone and calls for a helicopter to save him. "We'll be there in a few minutes." Tenax sees the concrete starting to break. "I NEED YOU HERE NOW!" "I'm sorry, but we can only come so fast." "God damn it! Well, I guess I need to buy time..." He notices Dragon Historian, who happens to be standing on the rooftop, and approaches him, asking him to buy time by fighting. Dragon historian answers: "When you were running for office, I studied the blade. When you were making promises you couldn't fulfill, I mastered ki energy. While you wasted your days at political office in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gates, you have the audacity to come to me for help?" "Well, yeah." "For what reason do you expect me to help you?" "Well, um...." A loud explosion is heard, the concrete is now broken, and Yan stands there, facing Tenax and DH.

"YAN!" "What?" "I AM DRAGON HISTORIAN! THE SON OF JAKE MAPPING! YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT DO YOU'VE DONE TO MY FATHER!" DH runs at her with a Katana, but she simply stands still, allowing the Katana to simply break when DH tries to slice her. "So, I killed your father and that's why you're angry?" Yan punches DH in the face, giving him a blood nose. "Pretty pathetic, honestly. I killed my father too, and you don't see me whining about it." She then kicks him in the stomach, launching him several dozen meters away. DH wipes the blood of his face. "Don't get too arrogant, Yan. I am going to defeat you one way or another. I have trained months for this, under the best trainer this world has to offer. It my destiny to destroy you, for my sake of not only my family, but the entire world." Yan simply answers "LARP", before opening her machine gun.

DH rapidly swings his hands to catch all the bullets, before dropping them on the floor. "Is that all you've got, Yan?" "Oh, not at all. Let's how you fare against explosive bullets." Yan changes her barrel. "Actually, I'm not here to kill *you*, am I? I should keep my focus." Yan takes aim at Tenax. DH quickly rolls in front of Tenax, creating a Ki energy barrier which stops all explosions from making contact. "A Ki technique? Ha, no way! That's not something you see every day. By the way, shonen sucks." "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT SHONEN SUCKS? DIE YAN!!!" DH uses the Gekiretsu Madan technique, charging up all of his energy and launching a massive barrage of yellow energy waves, which explode on contact with Yan. Yan's body is surrounded by smoke. "Ha! That's what you get for insulting the pure epicness that is battle shonen." As the smoke clears, DH realizes Yan has survived the attack. "Are you done, DH?" "No way! How could you have survived that?" A helicopter approaches the rooftop. Tenax shouts: "DH, let's go!" "No! I'm not leaving. I refuse to back down from this fight. I've waited too long for this." "You will do as I say. I pay your salary." "You two appear to be arguing over something. Let me make things easier for you." Yan teleports atop the Helicopter and throws a grenade into it, before jumping off back to the rooftop to escape the explosion.

Tenax screams. "NOOOO!!!!" Yan smirks. "Sorry, was that important?" "YES! IT WAS ONLY MEANS OF ESCAPE!" "Oh, that's unfortunate. Now you poor souls are going to die." DH is defiant. "Oh please, spare us your pity. The only one here who's going to die is YOU!" "Well, well, well, look who is optimistic. By all means, let's see you're made of." Suddenly, thunder could be heard. "A thunderstorm with heavy rain? Well, that sure sets the mood, don't you think DH?" "You should've stayed dead." DH charges up a new attack, drawing cupped hands to his side.. "Ka... me... ha..." - a ball of energy begins to form inside DH's cup of hands. Yan giggles. "me... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" DH then thrusts his hands forward to unleash a streaming, continious and powerful beam of energy towards Yan. Yan withstands the awesome force of the Kamehameha, and walks through it, slowly closing the distance between herself and DH. DH is persistent, screaming "I... WILL BEAT YOU!", as he continues the attack and puts in even more force. Eventually, Yan comes in front of DH and kicks him in his genitals. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!", DH yells as a dark orgasm of pain writhes through his body. He aborts the attack and falls down, holding one hand on his crotch and another on the floor. "Oh look DH, just a minute ago you were so confident you could beat me, and now you are on your knees. You know, it never gets old to see someone moaning in pain on the floor." She kicks DH in the face, before trampling on his back.

"Do you want to know how your father died? It was hillarious, really. He was like this:" Yan shapeshifts into Jake Mapping. "yAn, I dId My beSt! hELp ME! SoMEone!", Yan says in a mocking voice before cackling loudly. DH gets angry. "Don't... you... dare..." DH grabs Yan's legs. "MOCK MY FATHER!" DH pushes Yan's legs off his body, before standing up. Yan then shifts back into her normal form. DH yells: "KAIO-KEN!". He emitts a red and fiery aura, and his whole body and clothes acquires a reddish tint. This technique doubles his stength, at the cost of it being a great drain on his body.

DH unleashes a barrage of punches upon Yan, but she takes no damage. She tries to return a punch, but DH dodges her fist and grabs her arm, before throwing her. Yan is launched a few meters, before falling back on the rooftop. "I've figured you out, Yan! You don't take damage, but you still have normal weight, and can be grabbed and thrown like any object!" Tenax cheers: "Well done, DH! Try to throw her off the rooftop, so that the way is cleared and I can return to parliament and declare high alert!" DH tries to close in on Yan, while Yan tries to keep her distance from both DH and the edges of the rooftop. Several times, DH briefly grabs Yan, but she shakes or punches him so as to lose him. Eventually, Tenax intervenes and grabs Yan by the legs which causes her to trip. DH grabs Yan. "GOTCHA! KAIO-KEN TIMES TWENTY!" DH has now amplified his power twenty-fold, but his energy is being rapidly drained. He throws Yan off the rooftop, before he collapses on the floor, the Kaio-ken having disappeared. "DH, come with me!" "I... am exhausted. Go on... without me." "Alright." Tenax walks downstairs, before Yan interrupts him in front of the toilet. "You know, if you had thrown me off even 30 seconds earlier, you would've reached parliament. But alas, enough time elapsed since the helicopter's destruction for me to teleport again." Tenax runs back to the rooftop.

Yan once again faces Tenax and DH on the rooftop. "Oh look, it seems like my friend DH has collapsed. Not so tough anymore, huh?" Yan kicks him forward several times. "Nowhere to run." Suddenly, A.S. emerges from the stairs. Yan looks back and is shocked. "A.S.? But, weren't you imprisoned?" "I was, but in your fight with Hetman, you threw the key on the floor, which I picked up and used to free myself. Now I've come here to save the president." "But didn't Tenax imprison you?" "He did, but I have much worse fears of what would happen if he were to die."

A.S. runs at Tenax and DH, emptying jars of oil on them. Tenax and A.S. grab DH before jumping off the rooftop, using the oil to fly through the rain.

Yan is exasparated. "You're not getting away!" She opens fire on the three, but they have already flown out of range and she misses. Yan sighs. "Oh well. The silver lining is that the parliament is open for me." She shapeshifts into Tenax and walks downstairs.

Tenax re-appears on the speaker's seat in the parliament chamber. "You were in the bathroom for quite a while." "Yeah, I had nasty diarrea." Tenax then prepares a new speech.

"Hello everyone. This president Tenax speaking. Today I am officially retiring as president of Videomapistan. I am glad to have served six terms, but I no longer want to continue holding office. My successor will be someone you're all familiar with. I am speaking of Yan. Now, I know what you're thinking: wasn't Yan a Mapperdonian weapon? And although the answer is yes, I can assure you that she has turned a new leaf and is now committed to their total destruction. Many people don't know this, but i'm actually very close with Yan and I completely trust her to take over my duties. She'll arrive in a moment." Tenax leaves the room. Shortly after, Yan comes in the room through the same door and takes her seat.

"Hello everyone! It is me, Yan Xishan. I am honoured to be sworn into my position as the new president of Videomapistan!"