YTSK SS: Election Day
In Universe Date: 1 January 2022
POGKPP sits on his chair. He awaits the signal for the filming to start.
"One... two... three!"
POGKPP speaks.
"Hello and welcome to the Videomapistan National News Service! This is your host POGKPP.
The election results are out, and the Islamic Virtue Party has won this year's election in a landslide! For the first time this century, the Videomapistan National Party has suffered an election defeat, marking the collapse of our long-standing ruling party.
The IVP has won 73% of the vote, winning every single province except for Atlas City, where the Videomapistan Socialist Party has maintained its perennial hold among urban, college-educated voters. The rest of the country, long loyal to the VNP, has revolted against the VNP's mishandling of the war effort under Yan, and have turned to new leadership for the hope of winning the war. Furthermore, voters are dissatisfied with the VNP's increased progressivism. Yan has not as of yet delivered a concession speech, which may point to a strategy of election denial. She had previously tried to delay the election, but the VNP lacked the supermajority needed to override a fillibuster.
With that out of the way, I welcome today's guest, our president-elect NoorallahMapping!"
"Salaam, brother. I thank the Videomapistani people for choosing the path of Allah."
"Noorallah, I heard you supported instating the death penalty for homosexuality?"
"Yes, that is what Allah demands."
"Economists believe that this policy would significantly impact our tourism industry, as it would gut the income generated from LGBT tourists. What is your response to our concerned economists? Do you agree that your policy will negatively affect Videomapistan's gross domestic product?"
"You're asking me about Videomapistan's gross domestic product? I'll tell you about Videomapistan's gross domestic product. When I become president, we won't have a gross domestic product, because our domestic product won't be gross. No, we will have a beautiful domestic product. And it will be beautiful, because it is graced by the will of Allah."
"I see. Do you plan to continue the war with Mapperdonia?"
"You bet your ass. And when we're done with Mapperdonia, we are going to invade and topple every infidel regime on Earth. Israel, Europe, the United States and China will all face the reckoning. Videomapistan will usher the world caliphate. Islam will prevail."
"But how will that affect videomapping?"
"See, that's the best part of this. Once we've abolished all nation-states, mapping will be easier then ever. No longer will mappers have to slave away at tracing those pesky borders. All new wars will simply be between the caliphate and the futile attempts at rebellion. The world will be at our oyster. The battle of Yarmouk will be nothing compared to the victories that lay ahead."
"Thank you very much, Noorallah. I'm your host POGKPP, and this has been today's session of the Videomapistan National News Service."