YTSK II: Chapter IX

In Universe Date: 16 April 2021

2 hours have passed since Yan assumed the presidency. Tenax, A.S. and DH continue to fly through the rain. "The rain is starting to subside, we have to land." The trio begins to descend downwards. Suddenly, DRM and Zed appear and fly in pursuit, trampling over Tenax before putting him in a grappling hold. He is angry. "Why are you trying to abduct me? Do you work for Yan?" "No we don't! YOU DO!" "What?" "Don't play stupid. Me and DRM can see right though all your lies. First you unleash Yan on your own country as a false flag in order to obtain emergency powers, then you claim she was a Mapperdonian weapon to gain pretext for a war, and then you have the audicity to MAKE HER YOUR SUCCESSOR. And how do you reconcile her appointment as president with your previous lie that she was a Mapperdonian weapon? "*She turned a new leaf*". Do you take me for an idiot? Your lies are as transparent as air. It is obvious that you and Yan have been working as one this whole time." "Alright, ignoring the false-flag conspiracy thing, where have you gotten the idea that I appointed Yan as my successor?" "I saw it on broadcast." "That's impossible! I never appointed Yan as my successor! I am still the president of Videomapistan! I would never even think to appoint Yan, she tried to KILL me for Christ's sake!" "Well too bad Tenax, because I saw what I saw."

DH is concerned. "Tenax, think about this for a second. Why do you think Yan would try to kill you in the midst of a parliamentary session?" "...because my videos are inaccurate?" "Maybe, but there would be a much more bigger reason. Remember when Yan shapeshifted into Jake Mapping? Since she can shapeshift, I'd suggest she shapeshifted into you in order to appoint herself as president." "That explains the broadcast. Well, damn." DRM chimes in. "Oh, so that wasn't you? Well, honestly, it would be quite plausible. Just yesterday, Yan was impersonating Kailan in order to mingle in with people inside the nuclear silo." "So, you've had trouble with Yan too, huh? Well, I guess we'll be fighting together then. As a team." "Well Tenax, I'm willing to accept your help if you can prove you're on my side now." "And how would I do that?" "Help me re-take my farm. You seized it from me after I was imprisoned, and gave it to Turkish dude called Mehmet Taha." "Alright, I'll see what I can do. Where is your farm?" "Just follow me."

Tenax approaches Mehmet's farm. "Yo, i'm taking this farm from you. Go away you Turk Roach." "The term '*Roach*' is offensive", Mehmet says before stroking his antennae. "The politically correct term is '*Person of order Blattodea*'". "Alright, person of order whatever. Get off this farm!" "No. I bought this farm fair and square, with my own hard-earned money. If anything, you should be getting off this farm." "I am the president of Videomapistan and I order you to leave." "My brother in Christ, you're not president of *anything*. You handed power over to Yan, remember?" "No I didnt, i-" "I saw the broadcast." "Look, that wasn't me." "It sure looked like you." "Well, I-" "Well what?" "Just let me speak, okay?" Tenax sighs and pauses a bit, before collecting himself. "Yan chased me off the rooftop and forced me to fly to escape, before shape-shifting into me in order to declare herself as president." "Hahahaha, I see. I really thought you were serious for a moment there." "I'm not joking, this is what happened!" "What?" "It's the truth! I am still president of Videomapistan! I never declared her president! The declaration was null and void, it was fake!" "Oh dear, it seems like you actually do have a few screws loose. I can see why you decided to resign from the presidency." "No. I am of sound mind!" "You don't even remember your last parliament hearing and you're blaming your televised act on a demonic force." "Look, I just give me your farm!" "I think it would be better for you to see a therapist than own a farm." "No, I demand to own this farm!" Mehmet points a gun at Tenax. "Here's some words of advice: Get off my property and see a therapist. If you don't leave, i'll be entitled to use lethal force to defend my property. This is your last warning." Relucantly, Tenax leaves.

Tenax returns to the squad. "So, how did it go?" "The roach didn't budge. Said I didn't have the authority to evict him because I am no longer president." "Bastard. I guess we'll have to kill him in order to gain entry." "And how do you plan to accomplish that?" "Maybe one of DH's Ki techniques can help us. Speaking of which... Hey DH, if you know how to use ki techniques, why didn't you just use your ki to fly us away to begin with?" "Well, I don't know how to fly using Ki. Those four techniques I used against Yan are actually the only ones I know. Learning additional techniques would've taken me many more months than I've spent training so far. It took me 4 months of practice to master the Kaio-Ken technique alone." "Just to be clear, what techniques do you know?" "Kamehameha, Gekiretsu Madan, Kaio-ken, and Energy barrier." "How come one of those has a perfectly fine English name, and the other three have autistic weaboo names?" "Blame the Dragon Ball localization teams, not me." "Well, I'm not going to try and pronounce Geki-whatever. I'm going to give them better names. Your Ki techniques are now named Big Laser, Laser Barrage, Power Amplification, and Force Field. Yes I'm changing the english one too." "Well, you do you, but I will continue using names which carry proper respect to tradition." "Whatever."

"So, what was the plan again?" "DH is going to use a Ki technique to kill Mehmet." "How do we lure him into a position where DH can kill him?" "Hmmm..." Tenax looks at Mehmet's farm. Just outside the farm are some bushes. A.S. interjects. "Hey Tenax, I need to poop. I'm going to a nearby tree." "A.S., wait." "What?" "Can you poop in this plastic bag?" "Why? What are you going to do with it?" "I'm going to use your poop as bait." "Poop as bait? That makes no sense. Nobody would want to eat poop." "Humans would definitely be repelled by the smell of their own poop. However, for cockroaches, human feces is a useful source of nutrients. You'll find that they are actually quite attracted by the smell." A.S. gives a somewhat disgusted look at Tenax before sighing. "Alright, fine."

Over the next hour, all members of the squad take turns pooping in Tenax' plastic bag, before it is full. DH goes to Mehmet's farm, throws the bag on the ground, and then hides in a bush just behind it. The odor from the poop passes through Mehmet's window, and Mehmet picks up the smell with his antennae. "What an amazing smell. What is that?" Mehmet crawls out of his house with his six legs, through the window, and then sees the bag of poop. "OH YEAH! YUMMY YUMMY, FECES FOR MY TUMMY!" Mehmet enthusiastically begins to eat at the fecal matter. Inside the bush, DH charges his attack. "Kaaaaameeeehaaammeee...HAAAAAAAA!!!" A big laser comes out of his hands, which then eviscerates Mehmet.

Tenax and Zed arrive to congratulate DH. "Well done! The farm is back in our hands!" The squad proceeds to enter Zed's farm, before having dinner. After dinner, Zed asks how they are going to defeat Yan. DH smiles. "I think my Ki teacher could be a great help at that. I'll tell you more about him tomorrow. I first need to sleep, though."

*To be continued...*