YTSK II: Chapter VI
In Universe Date: 15 April 2021
Kailan arrives in a dark room. "So, you were..." "Yes. I am Yan." "Where is Aegea?" "Gone. Reduced to ashes. Yesterday, I killed him after I cought him limping forwards in the hope of seeing his comrades again. Then I assumed his form." "And I presume you also killed Fourthirds?" "Yes" "That's weird. I had guided you to your bed. If you had opened your door as Aegea, i would've heard a noise". "I can teleport, silly. That's how i silently left my room, by circumventing the need to open a door altogether." "Ah. Anyway, when you assumed Aegea's form, did you also ASSUME HIS GENDER? lol." "Yes, i did. And do you what price i had to pay for that? I HAD TO ENDURE CONSTANT MISGENDERING!! In a rage, Yan gives a strong stomp on Kailan's chest, fracturing his ribs. "You could never understand just how much emotional pain i've endured just to obtain your codes." "Why didn't you check my room for codes before abducting me?" "Because... Um. Well, i actually never thought of it. But, now that you say it, that's actually a much better idea than abducting you. Don't have to try and torture it out of you while risking your death. As matter of fact, i'll get on to it right now." Yan stands still. "...Why haven't you teleported away yet?" "Oh, it takes a few minutes to recharge. I can't always teleport at will."
3 minutes pass, and Yan prepares to leave. "Goodbye Kailan! I'll come back to kill you once i'm done". As she is saying this, Kailan latches on to her legs.
Yan and Kailan arrive in Kailan's room. "Did you latch onto my legs in order to follow me?" "Yes." "Well, whatever. Nobody can hear you here anyway, and the door is locked, so it doesn't really matter." Yan powers up Kailan's computer to search through his files. Opening his desktop, she sees a file: "Nuclear launch codes.txt". However, Kailan's "Videomapping" folder suddenly catches her eyes, piqueing her interest instead. She opens it, and then opens the folder called "Sepoy Revolt". Yan chuckles, turning her eyes back to Kailan. "I don't think Kashmir controlled all of Aksai Chin." "The border was disputed. For sake of simplicity I gave it to Kashmir." Yan cracks her knuckles. "Okay... Indian... PROPAGANDIST!!!" A powerful kick shatters Kailan's jawline. "Different... maps... show different.. borders." Yan gives several stomps that penetrate deep into Kailan's stomach, forcing him to cough up blood. "SO THE OBVIOUS SOLUTION IS TO BE AS BIASED TOWARDS ONE SIDE AS POSSIBLE!" Yan begins strangling Kailan. "Wait... coughs wait..." "WHAT?" "I won't release it." "THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU!" Yan tightens her grip on Kailan's neck. "cough cough wait... cough" "I AM DONE WAITING" Kailan's vision begins to blur. With his last remaining energy, he tries to blurt out: cough cough c-c-c-o... cough -o-o-d-e-s"
Yan suddenly stops. "Oh yeah, the codes. They were on your computer, right?" "No... they were not..." "Oh yeah, then what is this?" Yan opens "Nuclear launch codes.txt" on Kailan's computer, where she reads a simple text string: "The codes are in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ" Yan copies the url into Kailan's browser, only to hear Richard Paul Astley's hit song "Never gonna give you up", now coming to realize that she has been rickrolled.
"I told you so." "WHERE ARE THE CODES" "In my drawer." Yan sighs, and walks to Kailan's drawer. As she opens it, she crouches. While she is distracted, Kailan runs at her with an electric cable he had just snapped in half, and electrocutes Yan. Yan is briefly stunned, but quickly collects herself. "Oh, did you think you could beat me the same way as Neutronex did? By electrocuting me? Was that your whole plan all along, when you hung un to my legs? Well, guess what, fucko. You can't kill me the same way twice." Kailan is surprised.
"Anyway, I have found the nuclear launch codes now. Thanks for your assistance, Kailan." Yan prepares to launch the finishing blow, but Kailan uses the electric cable to create a fire. "What was that for? If you're trying to burn yourself alive, by all means." Yan kicks Kailan so as to throw him into the fire. Kailan is now burning.
Shortly after, Yan hears a loud noise. "The fire alarm... God dammit Kailan, now everyone knows that i'm in the building." Suomi, Pleb and Oak storm upstairs. Suomi held a machine gun aimed at the door. Oak tries to open to door, but finds it locked. "PLEB, GET THE EXPLOSIVES!" "Yes sir!" "WE'VE GOT YOU YAN! YOU'RE OUTNUMBERED. IT'S OVER." Yan laughs madly. "This isn't over. Hahaaha. Okay, OAK. YOU WANNA FUCK WITH ME?! You fucking with the best! You wanna fuck with me? Okay. Okay, you little cockroaches... come on! You wanna play games? Okay, I can play with you. Come on! Okay, YOU WANNA PLAY ROUGH?! Okay! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" Yan blows up the door, killing Oak and Suomi. She then runs to the nuclear terminal. "I'M GOING TO NUKE MAPPERDONIA TO OBLIVION! DEATH TO ALL AFOE MAPPERS!" DRM and Zed try to chase Yan to the terminal, but she throws a molotov cocktail behind her, creating a wall of fire. "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STOP ME, DRM!"
Yan accesses the nuclear terminal, and finds that it actually operates the entrance/exit, too. "Hahaha, all you fools are going to die here." Yan locks the exit, ensuring she would be able to kill DRM and Zed here if she wanted to. She then prepares the nuclear launch. "In 5 minutes, these boys will be ready to fly. So many AFOE mappers will die..." This thought deeply satisfies Yan.
Pleb returns. "I am back with the explo-wait, where is Suomi?" "It's too late, Pleb. Yan has gained the codes and access to the nuclear terminal." "IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER!" "Pleb, do you see that? It's fire! If you're going to try and reach Yan now, you're going to get fucking burned!" "I DON'T CARE! I SEEK NOTHING LESS THAN ABSOLUTE VICTORY!" Pleb makes a beeline for Yan, running straight through the fire she had created. Despite feeling fire tearing at his skin, he continues to run with all his energy, for the fire inside burned brighter. "YAN! YOUR 1948 ARAB-ISRAELI WAR VIDEO WAS TERRIBLE! YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" He reaches Yan, prepares his grenade, and lets out one last ferocious roar: "ALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"
The grenade explodes. Yan survives the blast, but the terminal is destroyed. Pleb's body is in a million pieces, splattered all over the room. "God damnit. My plan kill all AFOE mappers now lies in shambles. Well, at least there's a silver lining here: Though there no longer is a computer to direct the nukes, they have already begun the process of detonation. So, they will just detonate here in a handful of minutes. You have dug your own grave. Farewell Zed and DRM." Yan teleports away.
DRM quickly runs around the building in the hope of escaping. He approaches the exit, but realizes that Yan had locked it. He then goes upstairs and checks every room he can, before entering the balcony. He can't safely jump down from this height, so he just accepts his death. He takes a deep breath. He sees a large landscape, lush forests. On his head, he feels the rain, still continuing from yesterday. He reflects on his life, and what got him to this point, before remembering a conversation he had with Fourthirds while sitting on a barrel of oil. As the rain continued, he made a realization: Oil floats on water.
DRM quickly runs downstairs, picked up the barrel of oil, and screams: "ZED! COVER YOURSELF IN OIL!" "Why?" "I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN, JUST DO IT!" DRM and Zed cover themselves in oil. "FOLLOW ME!" DRM and Zed run to the balcony. Oil-covered DRM jumped off the balcony and flew in the rain. "FOLLOW ME!" Oil-covered Zed proceeded to do likewise.
Zed and DRM fly away, evading the nuclear explosion. DRM proclaimed: "THE WAR CONTINUES. NO VICTORY, NO DEFEAT. THE SURVIVOR WILL CARRY ON THE FIGHT. IT IS OUR DESTINY!"